To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
God help those who do not help themselves.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.