Robert Orben
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.