Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping.
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''
I like men who wear earrings. They've bought jewelry and they've experienced pain.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.