The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
Life was a funny thing that occured on the way to the grave.
My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
Fashion is for people who don't know who they are.