The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year --- everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
We're all in this alone.
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.