When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.