A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

No man deserves punishment for his thoughts.

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

To harken to evil conversation is the road to wickedness.. (Pravis Assuescere Sermonibus Est Via Ad Rem Ipsam)

OK, so you've got a Ph.D. Now, don't touch anything.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one. The grandson asked him, Which wolf will win the fight in your heart? The grandfather answered, The one I feed.

In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.

The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.

God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

Victory is a political fiction.

To be free it is not enough to beat the system, one must beat the system every day.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

Don't let yourself forget what it's like to be sixteen.

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.

I'm out of the loop, and that's the way I like it.

Alas my love you do me wrong,To cast me of discurteously;And I have loved you so long,Delighting in your company.

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it.

Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created.

It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final.

Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase -- that's what wild geese are for.

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Truth fears no questions.

To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty.

If for a tranquil mind you seek,These things observe with care:Of whom you speak, to whom you speak,And how, and when and where.

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

Civilization is a slow process of adopting the ideas of minorities.

Someday is not a day of the week.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever!

Change is good, but dollars are better.

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end the suffering of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the suffering of one... ME!!!

There are no traffic jams when you go the extra mile.

The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.

If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react?

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

Always imitate the behavior of the winners when you lose.

Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice.

Dare to be wise.(Sapere Aude)

Unity in things necessary, liberty in things doubtful, charity in everything.

The more you know, the less you need to show.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

May no portent of evil be attached to the words I say.

By courage I repel adversity.(Adversa Virtute Repello)

A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.

There are no thanks for a kindness, which has been delayed.

You add insult to injury.(Injuriae Addis Contumeliam)

It is light grief that can take counsel.

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.

Tis the advisor who suffers from bad advice.

Whatever you undertake, act with prudence, and consider the consequences.

The future belongs to those who dare.

Stupid is a boundless concept.

A single fact can spoil a good argument.

By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

A dreamer lives for eternity.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.

When money talks, nobody notices what grammar it uses.

A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.

A groundless rumor often covers a lot of ground.

A guilty conscience needs no accuser.

Be alert to give service. What counts a great deal in life is what we do for others.

A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.

A man is known by the company he avoids.

If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

God helps those who help themselves.

Concern should drive us into action and not into depression.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

When you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons.

If you enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower.

If you hear that everybody is buying a certain stock, ask who is selling.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

A closed mind is a good thing to lose.

Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day.

People will forget what you did, people will forget what you said, but they won't forget the way you made them feel.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.